Reconciliation – God’s Miracle Answer:
In my own words…
In the What to Expect blog, you were told that more about the disciple messenger would be revealed. God said now is the time to tell the story of my call to service in November 2014. It is through this very call that God gave me the ministry of reconciliation.
Getting the horse before the cart…
To help explain the hows and whys of the calling, I will start at the beginning. I will be as brief as possible, telling just enough. Having said that, it will be a long entry. Please read it to the end. It is a key to the understanding of the blog. If there are limits of time or endurance, break it into shorter parts to read. After reading it, go back for a skim-through as a refresher.
Each of my parents was from a family of 6 children. They were close-knit families. Through the years, they shared the good times and the bad times. In other words, they supported one another through the ups and downs of life. There were Republicans, Democrats, and some in-betweens. Various faith groups were represented – Baptist, Presbyterian, Catholic, Lutheran, Methodist, Nazarene, and Christian (Disciples of Christ). Teachers, business owners, health workers, journalists, carpenters, bridge builders, legislators, food service, accountants, farmers, lawyers, preservationists, and military were the occupations represented. I would call all homemakers because of their devotion to providing a safe and loving family life. They also wished this safe and loving support for others.
What I learned from the examples set by family members:
*You will not always agree. If you look for the positives shared, you can work through any problem or disagreement.
*Treat one another with respect.
*Give of your best in whatever you undertake.
*Help one another, always be there with support in whatever way it is needed.
*Education, health care, and care of the earth are important. Quality public education and affordable health care should be available for all. Care of all of God’s creation is our responsibility.
*Share your talents.
*Show love for one another. You don’t have to look like the other, act like the other, or think like the other, to show love to the other. Above all, love God.
No connection between early teachings and what I was experiencing:
There was no connection between the teachings I received through church and family and what I had been experiencing through several years and was continuing to experience in 2014. The words and actions of the ones who were calling themselves the ones with values did not fit with the teachings of Jesus.
Things I saw with my own eyes, heard with my own ears, and/or told by others as first-hand knowledge…
From those who call themselves church:
*Building walls to shut others out and to protect themselves from harm caused by associating with those not considered Christian — in other words, causing divisions of ‘us’ versus ‘them’ ‘good’ versus ‘evil’:
*Refusing to have anything to do with people from other churches, “These others are not Christian.” “We don’t participate in community projects because we would be working with non-Christians.” “We help our own so that we know the ones being helped need it and are not milking the system.”
*In a church I visited twice while traveling, the minister said from the pulpit, “If you don’t believe like we do, you don’t belong here.” (Both times I heard this, I thought of the scripture in Matthew about Jesus promising to be present when two or three are gathered in his name. I wondered if Jesus was feeling as unwanted there as I was. My best guess was yes because their ways of shutting people out — separating ‘us’ from ‘them’ — were not his ways.)
*Not only disowning members found to be LGBTQ and unmarried pregnant women, but encouraging their families to forsake them, also.
*Becoming political, with churches being established for the sole purpose of getting ones considered worthy elected to public offices at all levels. Political candidates often filled the pulpit, giving political pitches that were far from, and at times in opposition to, gospel messages. “We have to get out and vote for the candidates with our values.” So there would be no misunderstanding about who were the ones with values and who were the ones considered non-Christian, statements, such as, “You can’t be a Democrat and be Christian,” and “Liberals are not wanted in our church,” were heard within the church walls, sometimes from pulpits. Comments were often more concise — naming the denomination to which the candidates should belong. (It especially saddened me when the ones making such statements were friends, and even more saddened, when they were spoken inside the walls of my home church or within the walls of churches attended by family or friends.)
*Conspiracy theories and racist untrue remarks became truths. “Obama is a Muslim.” “Obama is the Antichrist.” Michelle Obama became the target of hateful, racist remarks. “She thinks she can tell us what to feed our children. How would she know about good food, she’s black!!”
*Posting of billboards and bumper stickers in strategic places by people proclaiming to be the most moral, the true Christians. Examples: May the Obama children become orphans, Show Me Your Birth Certificate, Obama is the Antichrist, Barack Obama: Re-Nig on him, and Evil Resides in the White House. (Some of the same ones who displayed the hateful, ugly, racist billboards and bumper stickers became upset, to the point of being irate, over a bumper sticker that read, God is not a Republican. God is not a Democrat. Their reasoning: it was good to point out that God is not a Democrat because Democrats are evil. It was not right, however, to say God is not a Republican, “God is not only a Republican, but he is also a Conservative!”)
*Truths were ignored or falsely made into untruths. Fact checks that pointed out lies presented as truths or truths that were presented as lies were not to be believed; the fact checks were under the control of people labeled as ‘evil’ and the ones suggesting the fact checks were also labeled evil. One example of spreading a falsehood as truth then refusing to trust fact checks follows:
The story was widely circulated that Obama had refused to speak at the annual Prayer Breakfast. When a friend who attended church regularly sent a group email telling this untruth, I sent him a fact check showing its falseness. He replied that the fact check was a liberal and Soros-funded source, so it was not to be believed. He said he received his information from a conservative source that was trustworthy. I then found an online video of Obama speaking at the Prayer Breakfast. I told him that I had watched the actual service with Obama speaking in real time. I suggested he watch the video then send out a retraction to all who had received his original message. I never received an answer. The spreading of this false narrative continued.
*Pushing for prayer and Bible reading to return to schools and school events. This, according to discussions on the subject, would get us back on track to being a Christian nation. “It is because of the atheists and Democrats that they were removed. They don’t pray and are trying to take prayer away from us.”
The question of how those saying these things could ever agree on a version of the Bible or what could be said in the prayers to please everyone when churches wouldn’t work together went through my mind when I heard these discussions. Another question I had was, “Do they not know the reasons prayer and Bible reading were removed from schools?” Obviously not, but they probably cared not. It fit their arguments better to blame the atheists and Democrats for it, and for what they saw as the moral decay, than to accept the truths.
From here, there, and everywhere:
*The call for putting more guns into the hands of ‘good’ people was being promoted everywhere. Parent groups were using guns as prizes in raffles to raise money for schools and for youth sports. Some churches were giving chances to win guns as incentives to encourage church attendance. Each time there was a school shooting or a mass murder event, the calls for more guns were answered rather than the calls for sensible gun control measures. Wild conspiracy theories about the school shootings being a hoax began to circulate — promoted by some on the far-right who were on conservative television and/or radio. These same ones were promoting conspiracy theories about President Obama’s birthplace and about the validity of the elections.
*Three issues that had long been special to me –quality public education, affordable health care for everyone, and care of God’s creation–were under attack. Dark money was being accepted by lawmakers in exchange for help in destroying public education, for defeating Obama’s mission to provide affordable health insurance, and by trying to do away with Medicare and Medicaid. No attempt was made to provide suitable alternatives. Destroy and conquer seemed to be their goal instead of working together for common good.
Alarm bells went off as I became aware of groups such as the Club for Growth, the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC), the Show-Me Institute, and the American Federation for Children that were used by the wealthy as avenues to influence lawmakers. Money meant and needed for public education was being directed to provide tuition to private and religious schools or to pay for homeschooling programs. I learned of schools established by white supremacists and known KKK leaders who called their schools ‘religious’ waiting with hands open to receive public school money. Obamacare was being labeled a socialist program that should be destroyed in any way possible. There was a push for people not to participate in Obamacare or Medicare, thus leaving those who heeded that advice without health insurance. At the same time, Medicaid was under attack. Funding for health clinics and hospitals was being cut. Thousands of acres of our country’s farmland were falling under the ownership of those from foreign countries.
- * “No one is going to tell me what I need to do to stay safe or healthy,” was the attitude behind an increase in people refusing to wear seat belts, to put on helmets for riding motorcycles, and for their children riding bicycles. Another ‘no one is going to tell me what to do’ was the texting while driving.
*Climate change and global warming became hot issue topics. People who had once embraced the idea that man is responsible for the care of the earth were now claiming no responsibility. Climate change issues were labeled a hoax while the many extreme weather events were called normal and expected. Scientists and liberals were called alarmists and nonbelievers in God for suggesting that man needs to take responsibility for care of the earth. “Man’s actions or inactions do not determine the weather. God is in charge.”
The reasons given for being right:
*In every instance, conservative and Christian radio and television and conservative evangelical ministers were used as the gold standard for truth and right. The conservative political commentators were often referred to by name as speaking the truth. In one instance, as if to put an exclamation mark after their remarks, “Even Billy Graham and Franklin Graham have said that Obama is not a Christian. What better proof than that would anyone need?”
*“I am conservative, and conservatives are the ones with values and in the right,” became common responses to prove their rightness over the wrongness of others. This had even evolved further, “I am a Conservative Evangelical.” “We used to be the Moral Majority, but now we are becoming the Moral Minority.”
Concerns, concerns, and more concerns:
My concerns grew and grew. At first, I thought these were political concerns. I soon realized that they were concerns related to ones who considered themselves the most religious, the most moral of all, even thinking of themselves as the only Christians. These were ones who fit the descriptor I had heard in my younger days ‘holier than thou’.
If you think I was just concerned about the things I was hearing from the right and not the left, it was not because those on the left were without fault. It was that I was not hearing this same hate and ugliness from those on the left. It was the right that had gone too far right and had caused the most of my concerns. It was a concern too when they proclaimed they knew their ‘rightness’ came because they were conservative and had heard what they were repeating from “FOX, from their conservative ministers, from the pulpits, from Christian radio, and from conservative news outlets.” Never mentioned to support their rightness were things such as putting God first and neighbors next or wishing for others what you wish for self. Politics seemed to be their religion, their way to establish rightness and moral order.
I had an epiphany:
It suddenly dawned on me that my concerns were for the people hurt and for the ones causing the hurt. I cared for all — the just and the unjust –as we have been asked to do. Among those causing the hurt and those being hurt were relatives, close friends, neighbors, church friends, acquaintances, and complete strangers. I wanted to do something that would help those causing division to turn away from their harmful ways while also helping the ones being harmed.
I tried my way:
* Letters and phone calls to legislators were tried. I attended forums where concerns could be presented. These efforts did not seem to help. In fact, I saw more and more legislators voting for things they had previously denounced. I found that they had accepted money from and were working side-by-side with representatives of the PACS and organizations about which they had stated they knew nothing.
*I thought money used for harm could be countered with money used for good. There was a big problem – I had no large excess of money. The only way I could think for gaining a large sum of money caused a personal dilemma. Winning the lottery would provide a windfall which could be used for good. Playing the lottery, however, never seemed right to me and the odds of winning were miniscule. However, I could think of no other options.
I had another ‘my way’ idea. I told God that if he would help me win a large sum of money through the lottery, I would use every penny to help bring good results. Yes, that’s right, I told God what he should do. My justification was the promise to use the money to help right wrongs. To help soothe my conscience, I also promised to give an additional amount to my church equal to or greater than what I spent on lottery tickets.
The plan was put into action. I thought, with God’s help, I would win quickly, so I started by buying 1 ticket once a week. After realizing that wasn’t working, I went to two tickets once a week, then evolved to two tickets twice a week.
Buying the tickets was a difficult thing for me. To describe this period as a dark and painful time would be an understatement. In fact, recalling it now fills me with the dark feelings I was having at that time. However, God says I must be transparent to be believable. It is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth that I must relay no matter how painful it is.
Not winning after several weeks of buying tickets while promising any money won would be used for good left me disappointed and disillusioned.
I tried God’s way,,,
In early November 2014, I finally began taking my many concerns to God in prayer. Yes, if all else fails, try prayer was my plan at the time. Night after night long hours were spent in prayer. After each long prayer session, thinking I had done my part — the expectation was that God upon hearing these concerns would then take matters into his own hands and solve all the problems — a restful sleep followed. Several prayer-filled nights passed with none of my expectations fulfilled. At the end of another long prayer session naming each concern in detail, without realizing what was being said, I asked something I had never asked before, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Just as sleep was about to come as it had in past nights of prayer, I heard God say, “My dear child.” That was a wake-up call. I thought I knew who was doing the calling for I had been called “My dear child” once before in answer to a prayer. Still, I was frightened by hearing a voice coming from the darkness. I waited, with heart pounding, listening for more. God had been waiting for me to ask that question. These were God’s concerns, too, for you see, he had been hearing the same things I was hearing and seeing the actions that I was seeing. He was waiting for a volunteer. I had become that volunteer when I, without thinking, had asked if there was anything I could do to help. God’s answer was a ‘calling’ for me to help bring about reconciliation through writing a book.
Even though I knew the calling was from God, doubts arose – not doubts about God but about myself. In my mind, I had been asked to do a task for which I felt completely unprepared. I did not know how or where to start and did not even know what was meant by reconciliation as God meant it. I lacked the necessary skills and knowledge; for example, I did not know Scriptures which I assumed was important for completing the task, had never written anything other than years-ago class assignments, shopping lists, and business and personal notes and letters. To write a book, especially one about a topic which did not seem to be enough to write a short essay, let alone a book, seemed an impossible task for me.
I made suggestions–arguing and pleading might be better descriptors–of others with knowledge of the Scriptures, as well as having the skills and experience needed for writing what was asked. God’s answer was that the ones suggested were, indeed, qualified and would provide help, later, when needed, and in the way needed. He said they were too qualified and would get the task done in man’s time not his time. In addition, they would use too many of their own thoughts and experiences instead of listening for what God wanted and needed to be delivered. “You are the one for this job. You have just enough talent, just enough skills. You will realize that you cannot do this without the help I provide you. You are patient, a good listener, and good at following directions, so you will follow my lead for the message and for the time to deliver that message. Because you are not a professional at what you are being asked to deliver, you will be believable.”
I had health issues and limitations associated with age that would seem to be disqualifying and named those, all the while knowing that God knew about them without the telling. God answered these excuses, “It is what is in your heart that matters. You have love for all and a desire to help, not cause harm. And about age, you are but a child to me. Saying your voice is weak and you cannot express yourself well, therefore, you will not be able to speak about the book or about my messages, matters not. I am not asking you to speak. I am asking you to write. I am not asking for perfection in grammar and punctuation, I am asking for you to write my messages in simple, easy-to-understand language. Your concern about getting the messages in book form and in print will be done by Oprah Winfrey. I have provided her with the talents and abilities to get the job done. There will be help with your health issues before the book is finished. I need you to continue keeping a journal. Because of your difficulty writing, begin using your computer for recording my messages.”
His answers helped allay some of my doubts, but they also brought other questions to mind, for example, “How was Oprah Winfrey going to find out about the book? How could I ever talk with her if she did?” Also, I questioned the help for health issues, “What help is there beyond what doctors have already tried? How can there possibly be something helpful available before the book is finished? It could be several years before something new is found. Surely, the book isn’t going to take several years to finish.”
I knew what my answer to God’s call should be and even what it eventually would be, but before I agreed to the mission, I needed to know what was meant by reconciliation.
Reconciliation -*restoration of friendly relations, *making one’s view or belief compatible with another, *former enemies agree to a truce, *restored trust and respect among warring parties, with one another – family members with family members, neighbors with neighbors, church members with church members and beyond, lawmakers with lawmakers, world leaders with other world leaders, and most of all God’s creation with God.
After reading the definitions many times and mulling over the meanings, I had an epiphany, seeing clearly that reconciliation was the answer to solving the problems of the world. It would take us out of the darkness into the Light. Only God could have seen the whole picture and given the solution to all the problems.
God had told me that I would be doubted, ridiculed, maybe even threatened if I decided to carry through on what I was being asked to do. I concluded that with God by my side, I could face anything. My nights of arguing, pleading, and protesting what God asked came to an end. With his promised help and guidance, with eyes filled to overflowing with tears, and with a voice choking with emotion, the answer to the calling was, “Here I am, Lord.”
God’s instructions, “Tell no one but ___ (my husband was called by name). He will be your helper.”
It was that same night that I yielded to God’s will that he named several others who would be helpers when needed. The next morning, Saturday, November 22, 2014, I began recording what I had been given in my journal.
The Scripture which was pre-printed in the 1985-copyright diary that I had purchased at a garage sale was 1 Timothy 1: 12, “And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that He counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry.” My eyes filled with tears upon reading the Scripture. I felt that God had prepared that diary Scripture for me on the very day that he knew I would answer the call to the ministry of reconciliation.
I recorded on that day’s diary page three Scriptures given to me: Isaiah 35: 5 –eyes of the blind opened, and ears of the deaf unstopped. Matthew 12: 25–Jesus knew their thoughts. Kingdoms divided will be brought to desolation. Cities or houses divided will not stand. Matthew 13: 15 — People’s heart is waxed gross, ears are dull of hearing, eyes have closed, but if they should ever open their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their heart, and be converted, Jesus says he would heal them. I recognized that all given me and recorded that day would come to have meaning in the future. The Scriptures were already addressing my concerns of division, of people closing their eyes and ears to truths and their minds to understanding, and of religion being taken over by politics.
Stay alert for Footnotes: Filling in the blanks.